The Status Quo of Kindness
Lately, I have been publishing blog posts that are about certain topics and how to achieve them. But I haven’t had a free write on my blog yet, and I think it is about time. Kindness is a topic that I have been milling around in my brain for the past few months. How it’s perceived in public, on social media, and individually - kindness now has a twisted vision.
I wanted to tell you all my thoughts on the current status quo of kindness, and how we can change it to be an uplifting topic again.
Why is kindness seen as weakness in today’s age? Whether it is kindness to yourself or to others, many think that kindness is conceited or self-centered. But why do we think this way? Shouldn’t kindness be seen as a strength, while also being empowering?
Status quo, according to Oxford, is described as “the existing state of affairs, especially regarding social or political issues.” And if we apply this definition to kindness, we can now look at how kindness is seen today as a social issue, for a lack of better terms.
From my perspective, I believe that kindness has been twisted into something that people use to get the upper hand. For example: someone can be kind to your face and give you a compliment on your outfit, but they are only giving that compliment to make themselves look better. Maybe giving compliments helps that person with their self-image of being a nice person - when in reality, that person does nothing selfless except give a compliment.
Kindness can also be seen as something self-centered, which is hard for me to believe, but I see why people think in this way. I’ve watched countless YouTube videos, and scrolled through hundreds of Instagram posts, where the individual is being kind to themselves & trying to lift themselves up. It could be by saying “I look so good today!” or “wow I love myself today, I did this and this,” but that in itself is seen as selfish. How is being kind to yourself being selfish or self-centered?
Shouldn’t we be trying to lift ourselves up from a world that just wants to see us fail?
I have been trying to be kinder to myself in the past few months through my recent self-image epiphany. I realized that I need to stop comparing myself to other body images and past versions of myself that I have grown out of.
Sure - I used to be a skinny girl who was always told to “put some meat on those bones.” But now I am being told to lose weight, and being pointed at for the extra 5-10 pounds I now hold around my stomach. Sometimes, I wish people would just shut their mouth and only speak if they have something positive or helpful to say.
It makes it harder for me to be kind to myself when my closest friends & family point out some of my biggest insecurities. Whether those insecurities are physical, mental or emotional, we should all re-frame our mindsets to be more kind in general.
Chip Gaines, the famous other-half of the home renovation couple on “Fixer Upper”, wrote an inspiring blog post about kindness on Magnolia.com that I just couldn’t help myself from sharing on here.
I believe that we are all made in likeness, and because of that, our hearts are naturally drawn toward one another. But the thing about kindness is, it’s a choice. It’s something that we should give freely with the hopeful expectation that it might one day be given freely to us.
This quote really pulled at my heartstrings, and I hope others can relate to this quote. Chip also discusses in the blog post how the way we interact with others during our daily routine can impact those outside of yourself.
The way I see it, how we choose to interact with our neighbors, our coworkers, the people online, the check-out clerk at the grocery store, and even the person who mindlessly cuts us off in traffic has a profound effect on how others will choose to interact with us. Because here’s the other thing I believe about kindness: It’s contagious.
I always try to give someone a compliment once a day, no matter the person or the compliment. Some examples could be telling your co-worker “hey, I like your shirt! That looks nice on you!” or “your smile is making me really happy today”.
Small compliments can go a long way for someone who is having a tough day. I have been on the other end of this as well. Someone random at the grocery store told me that they loved my laugh, which made me smile for the rest of the day.
It goes to show that kindness is not something that should be seen as self-centered. Kindness is helpful and essential to human growth and common respect among one another. Whether that is in the workplace or randomly out in public, kindness does not go unnoticed.
Please check out Chip Gaine’s blog post, “We Believe in Human Kindness” here, and feel free to print out these flyers in your work space, or on a bulletin board, to spread kindness as a subtle reminder.
